I am sorry for the non-book related post but its been 10 minutes and I am still laughing.
This is what Bella’s reaction should have been.
Ugh how do you expect me to decide what college to attend or who I want to marry or what I want to do for the rest of my life I CAN’T EVEN DECIDE WHERE TO PUT A STICKER BECAUSE PEELING OFF THE BACK AND HAVING IT STAY IN ONE PLACE FOREVER IS TOO BIG OF A COMMITMENT FOR ME TO LIVE WITH
So, there’s this girl. She’s tragically orphaned and richer than anyone on the planet. Every guy she meets falls in love with her, but in between torrid romances she rejects them all because she dedicated to what is Pure and Good. She has genius level intellect, Olympic-athelete level athletic ability and incredible good looks. She is consumed by terrible angst, but this only makes guys want her more. She has no superhuman abilities, yet she is more competent than her superhuman friends and defeats superhumans with ease. She has unshakably loyal friends and allies, despite the fact she treats them pretty badly. They fear and respect her, and defer to her orders. Everyone is obsessed with her, even her enemies are attracted to her. She can plan ahead for anything and she’s generally right with any conclusion she makes. People who defy her are inevitably wrong.
God, what a Mary Sue.
I just described Batman.
"When I was 19, my girlfriend and I were going to study in Paris. Our boyfriends came to the docks to see us off. Right as we were getting on the ship, my friend’s boyfriend said to her: ‘If you go, I won’t wait for you.’ So she turned around and decided to stay. My fiance saw this and told me: ‘I won’t wait for you either.’
I said: ‘Don’t!’”
Batman Black & White has stories of varying quality, writing-wise and art-wise, but this one stole my heart. A little girl is kidnapped and Batman scours the city for her, but rather than Batman bursting in to save her she escapes on her own, manages to find Harley and Ivy, and convinces them to kick this asshole’s teeth in. Then they run off all “We’re superheroes now, you have to be nice to us!” and Batman is left with the cleanup.
[From Batman Black & White #3, 2013.]